Best Funny Text

How can I compare your beauty
to other faces?

You seduce me in the sunshine
unashamedly, knowing I cannot look away.

My soul cries out more, more,
and again I search your dark eyes
until I’m strapped in a trance like state.

You proceed to tease
my lips with your tongue delegating my mind
to your ocean, where I glide above the
surface gushing with exhilaration.

Your bouquet fills my face and body
projecting me to hovering heights
that have my heart
racing as if in a lover’s embrace.

Yet, you free me
to further savour your endless delights,
till I cannot get enough,
and consume you like an army
of leaf ants would ravage to build their home.

Just as I can feel the slip into the next dimension,
a painless place free of blame,
I open my eyes and you sit there waiting.

Gee I love Mudcake.

Rob Swales

———————————

My memories of you go by
like rows of butterflies on crutches.

We were the blind desperately unbuttoning the blind,
lost in the blur of the forbidden.

Until your voice, like the shock of cold chicken,
ripped my heart out
and beat it like a seal pup,
into your front porch.

Suddenly, my life was invaded
by a drunken synchronized-swim team of emotions…

As the book of my soul began to fill with coffee rings.

Now I know that my life is a only metaphor,
for something infinitely worse -

But your cruelty can never keep its freshness.

One day, your beauty too, will be gone
like lost socks from a dryer.

Elas Giordano

————————————–

My fears are falling like the snow,
Falling gently, drifting silently,
White as crystals in the sun,
Although these crystals melt.

————————————-

Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s Chest
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!

Robert Louis Stevenson

————————————-

Everyone grumbled. The sky was grey.
We had nothing to do and nothing to say.
We were nearing the end of a dismal day,
And then there seemed to be nothing beyond,
Then
Daddy fell into the pond!

And everyone’s face grew merry and bright,
And Timothy danced for sheer delight.
“Give me the camera, quick, oh quick!
He’s crawling out of the duckweed!” Click!

Then the gardener suddenly slapped his knee,
And doubled up, shaking silently,
And the ducks all quacked as if they were daft,
And it sounded as if the old drake laughed.
Oh, there wasn’t a thing that didn’t respond
When
Daddy Fell into the pond!

Alfred Noyes

——————————————

funny jokes

——————————————

Gliding, sliding, slipping, tripping
If ice skating’s too exhilarating
Try cake icing, it’s quite exciting
Slapping, slopping, frosted topping

Patrick Winstanley

—————————————-

I have a special room,
Where all my books are kept,
But I’m rapidly running out of space,
Because I’m a compulsive biblioklept.

Patrick Winstanley

—————————————

I made a hat from fur and felt,
a feather, and a leather belt.
I topped it with a pretty bow
and lots of ribbons, just for show.
I held it up, admiring it,
then tried it on. It wouldn’t fit!
I pushed and pulled with all my might,
the front, the back, the left, the right.
And yet, no matter how I tried
it wouldn’t fit. I nearly cried!
I yanked it off and yelped because
I saw then what the problem was.
I’m such a dolt, I had to frown.
I’d made the darned thing upside down!

Kenn Nesbitt

————————————–

I dreamed that I was sound asleep
and lying in my bed,
and in my dream another dream
was drifting through my head.

And in that dream I had a dream
and in it I was dreaming
a dream about a dream until
I woke up nearly screaming.

It seems to dream you’re dreaming
is a terrible mistake.
I can’t tell which dream ended
and I’m not sure I’m awake.

Kenn Nesbitt

—————————————-

Dil ka dard dil torrne wala kiya jaaney,
Pyar ke rivajon ko zamana kiya jaaney,

Hoti hai kitni takleef larrki ko pataney main,
Ye ghar pe baitha larki ka baap kiya jaaney

—————————————–